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All the scripts described below can be read in full on the Lazy Bee Scripts web site.
(Click on the script titles to see the complete scripts.)
However, all the scripts on this site are copyrighted. They may not be printed, quoted or performed without the permission of Lazy Bee Scripts.
Click on the "Price" links for details of the script prices and licensing arrangements.
    Scripts 1 to 10 of 20
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A Day in the LifeAuthorGary Diamond & Ray Lawrence
Roles Minimum Male roles = 8. Minimum Female roles = 3. Minimum total with doubling = 11. Minimum total without doubling = 11. No chorus. Wide range of playing ages.
Run time Around 65 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style A long one-act (or short full-length) farce. Single set. Contains a small amount of mild swearing and a large amount of fun!
Synopsis A family gather for the reading of a late, but not lamented, step-Father's will. Unsurprisingly, there are surprises in store for the whole bunch.
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
An Elliot Steinway MysteryAuthorGary Diamond
Roles Minimum Male roles = 11. Minimum Female roles = 3. Minimum total with doubling = 14. Minimum total without doubling = 20. No chorus.
Run time Around 120 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Full-length farce, a parody of murder mysteries with labyrinthine plots! Contains mild swearing and many shots in the dark.
Synopsis Henri Gilbert is dead, and his will asserts that he was murdered. Unless all those who stood to gain for his death remain at his mansion for a fortnight, his money will go to charity. During those two weeks, Elliot Steinway, the TV detective (or rather, Donald Smart, the actor who portrayed him) must unmask the murderer and win the fortune for himself. Aided only by the solicitor and his faithful sidekick Badger, he struggles through labyrinthine plots to get to the truth... probably.
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
Cause for AlarmAuthorGareth Rubin
Roles Minimum Male roles = 5. Minimum Female roles = 2. Minimum total with doubling = 7. Minimum total without doubling = 9. No chorus.
Run time Around 90 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Full-length farcical comedy play. Contains swearing (which, considering the mayhem involved, is not surprising!)
Synopsis It's Health and Safety Inspection Day at the Nuclear Power Plant, but when the inspector himself causes an accident, no one feels healthy or safe.
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
Clutching at StrawsAuthorGeoff Bamber
Roles Minimum Male roles = 3. Minimum Female roles = 7. Minimum total with doubling = 10. Minimum total without doubling = 10. No chorus.
Run time Around 135 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Hilarious full-length English farce in the best Whitehall tradition. Single country-house living room set.
Synopsis Julia Benning is a pushy young businesswoman who is about to inherit her late uncle's company. However, first she needs to pass the scrutiny of her Aunt Celia. That includes assessing whether Julia's newly-acquired fianc? is going to be an asset - something he manifestly is not. Julia's solution is to borrow a substitute fianc? in the form of her friend Pippa's womanising brother. Throw in a lachrymose nurse, a jobbing solicitor and a couple who get the wrong address for their swingers' party, and Celia's house is set for a busy weekend.
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
Diplomatic RelationsAuthorGeoff Bamber
Roles Minimum Male roles = 4. Minimum Female roles = 6. Minimum total with doubling = 10. Minimum total without doubling = 10. No chorus.
Run time Around 135 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Hilarious full-length farce. Single set (an ambassador's office) with plenty of places to hide!
Synopsis Ambassador Miranda Carruthers is trying to make the most of her posting to a South American backwater. She's expecting a diplomatic bigwig to celebrate the 150th anniversary of one of the local revolutions (the glorious one, apparently), but what she actually gets is a Foreign Office investigator, looking for evidence of extravagance. That and a corrupt politician trying to elope with her husband, the local security chief chasing her around her office and one of her husband's previous liaisons turning-up with less clothing than is customary in diplomatic circles. And, oh yes, there's a German anarchist on the loose.
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
How Does Your Garden Grow?AuthorGeoff Bamber
Roles Minimum Male roles = 4. Minimum Female roles = 6. Minimum total with doubling = 10. Minimum total without doubling = 10. No chorus.
Run time Around 110 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Funny full length British farce. Single set (hotel reception area). Contains mild swearing and intimations of nudity and adultery (obviously an adult theme).
Synopsis Banker Roger Crompton is hoping to celebrate his fiftieth birthday by consummating an adulterous affair with a colleague. Unfortunately, the hotel he's picked just happens to be the one his colleague has been threatening to shut down. In true dirty weekend tradition, they are booked in the name of Jones, but of course, they aren't the only Joneses staying in the hotel - there's Nathan Pond, an aging rock star, heading for a festival with his agent, but also hiding from a stalker. Mistaken identity abounds, not least when Roger assumes that the local policewoman is really a stripogram.
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
In My Lady's ChamberAuthorGiles Scott
Roles Minimum Male roles = 5. Minimum Female roles = 3. Minimum total with doubling = 8. Minimum total without doubling = 8. No chorus.
Run time Around 100 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Bedroom farce in the form of a medieval romp. Single (castle bedchamber) set. Contains adult goings on and the occasional French accent.
Synopsis While Lord William has been away, Lady Jane has been dallying with his Squire, but now his Lordship has returned and intends to relieve Her Ladyship of the chastity belt she is no longer wearing and cannot find. This is just the start of the troubles...
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
It's On, It's OffAuthorRay Lawrence
Roles Minimum Male roles = 2. Minimum Female roles = 4. Minimum total with doubling = 6. Minimum total without doubling = 6. No chorus. All adults. Range of ages.
Run time Around 115 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style A tight, funny farce in two acts. Single (living room) set.
Synopsis It's two days before Tina Humphrey's wedding and her parents, Gerald and Daphne, are expecting their daughter's future mother-in-law for dinner. However, with infidelity, illegitimate children and a case of mistaken identity, all Daphne really wants to know is whether it's on or it's off!
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
Local NewsAuthorSean Dooley
Roles Minimum Male roles = 6. Minimum Female roles = 5. Minimum total with doubling = 11. Minimum total without doubling = 11. No chorus.
Run time Around 80 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Full-length farcical comedy. Multiple sets (to be changed quickly via backdrops). Divided into five acts - indicating the phases of the story, rather than places for audience breaks! (Contains one unsavoury throw-away line!)
Synopsis The town of Taviscombe is a quiet, peaceful hamlet, however this leaves the local newspaper and police force without much to do. To try and combat their boredom and get themselves recognised on a national level, both organisations independently plan a robbery. Unfortunately the fool-proof schemes they come up with are identical, leading to a great deal of confusion and the disappearance of the money they were targeting.
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
Name That MurderAuthorTroy Shearer
Roles Minimum Male roles = 7. Minimum Female roles = 3. Minimum total with doubling = 10. Minimum total without doubling = 10. No chorus.
Run time Around 85 minutes. [Caution! This is very dependent on your production.]
Music None.
Style Two-act, single-set farce.
Synopsis All the classic elements of a farce, with lovers, spurned husbands, misunderstandings, discoveries and deceptions. Plus, of course, a huge number of entrances and exits! (All this and an errant toupee.)
Price Please click on the Price link to find the cost.
    Scripts 1 to 10 of 20
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