Lazy Bee Scripts

Stuart Ardern
Stuart Ardern - playwright
Working in the Following Genres:
Plays With (Optional) Music
Stage Shows for Schools and Youth Theatre
Full-Length Plays
One-Act Plays
Sketches, Skits or Very Short Plays

Stuart first appeared on stage at the age of ten in a school production of Mother Goose. 'I don't recall who wrote the script, but what I do remember is that it wasn't particularly funny.' It took him a long time to turn his hand to attempting to write something funnier, but once he started, a stream of successful shows followed quickly. His approach to writing pantomime scripts starts with a storyline, but the story is rarely enough to keep everyone involved in the show. 'All plays sit within a cultural framework. One of the sources of humour is to take something familiar and to approach it from an unexpected angle. The difficulty is that the more access we have to information, the more fragmentary our cultural references become. I can't assume that you have read the same books or watched the same films as me.' Stuart's approach to this dilemma is to throw in ideas from many sources. 'Very few people will twig every joke, but there should be enough to keep everyone amused.'

Frequently, there are themes running through the pantomime scripts which have nothing to do with the main story. These often start as small ideas and develop into major obsessions, such as the amphibian fixation in Puss-in-Boots and the appearance of Shakespeare in Dick Whittington. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves developed a theme of fairy tales, so that within the script there are references to Hansel and Gretel, The King's New Clothes, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, and a host of other familiar tales. With Robin Hood and the Singing Nun, many of the cross-references are to films. Besides the obvious source of singing nuns, there are guest appearances of Gone with the Wind, Deliverance, Lord of the Rings and even Apocalypse Now. 'There are even one or two hidden jokes.'

This crossword puzzle approach to writing has led from pantomimes into other forms, particularly the one-act mysteries. 'The idea is to present the audience with a puzzle and then twist the solution so that something unexpected happens, but not so unexpected that the audience feels cheated.' Hence in Miss Glossop Comes to Tea, and Miss Glossop's Weekend Break, the audience is led through the story by an incompetent detective, whilst Dead Ringer features crosses and double crosses. In addition, he writes songs, scripts in verse and plays for children and teenagers. (That's the list so far, but there's no reason it should end there.)

Stuart Ardern is English. (Genealogists may be able to pinpoint his home town within a 25 mile radius, although two places gave rise to the same name.) After brief spells in the Netherlands and California, and a much longer spell in the south of England, he returned to the fringes of the Northern Powerhouse. Stuart is the boss of Lazy Bee Scripts. He acts, and often directs his own plays, but is unhappy directing himself ('I don't do what I'm told'). Stuart is married with two children who are no longer children. He says he is younger than he looks, or older, depending on how old you think he looks.
Pantomime (by Stuart Ardern)
2020 Pied PiperBeauty and The BeastRhyming Aladdin
AladdinDick Whittington and His CatRhyming Red Riding Hood
Alderman Whittington's CatJack and the Beanstalk [A Deadpan Panto]Robin Hood and the Singing Nun
Ali Baba and the Forty ThievesThe Panto of the OperaSinbad
Another Cat, Another HatPuss in Boots (Full Cast)Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Pantomime (by Stuart Ardern (with Jonny Ardern))
 Snow White and the Mini Miners 
Pantomime (by Stuart Ardern & Bob Heather)
Musicals (by Stuart Ardern)
The Bullies at Sam's CaféMinny Pinny Makes a DifferenceSquirrel Plays His Part
Musicals (by Michal Y Noah, songs by Stuart Ardern)
 I'll See You In My Dreams 
Plays With (Optional) Music (by Stuart Ardern)
 Witch Hunt 
Plays With (Optional) Music (by Geoff Bamber with songs by Stuart Ardern)
 Scotch Broth 
Stage Shows for Schools and Youth Theatre (by Stuart Ardern)
 The Phantom Thief 
Stage Shows for Schools and Youth Theatre (by S. Ardern (vertaal deur Ronèl de Beer))
Full-Length Plays
 The Long Road 
One-Act Plays (by Stuart Ardern)
Dead RingerThe Gentlemen of the PressMiss Glossop's Weekend Break
Death in CharacterMiss Glossop Comes to TeaThe Turing Test
One-Act Plays (by Stuart Ardern (devised by YT2))
 Sleeping With Beauty 
Sketches, Skits or Very Short Plays
Breaking NewsA Fantastic Feat of Muscular ManipulationSuffragette
The Corruption of Patience UndercroftMeet the Inventor 
Murder Mysteries
Death of a Well-Spoken GentlemanAbram Skinner - A Steampunk Murder Mystery 
Recordings - CDs and MP3s (by Stuart Ardern)
Robin Hood and the Singing Nun Rehearsal CDThe World Turned Upside Down - Midi FilesThe Bullies at Sam's Cafe - Vocal MP3s
Sinbad Rehearsal CDMarket Forces MP3 Files.Squirrel Plays His Part - Vocal Demo MP3s
Squirrel Plays His Part - MP3 FilesMinny Pinny Makes a Difference - Backing CDI'll See You In My Dreams - Backing MP3s
Beauty and the Beast Rehearsal CDAli Baba and the Forty Thieves - Backing CDAnother Cat, Another Hat backing track
The Bullies at Sam's Cafe - Rehearsal MP3sAli Baba and the Forty Thieves - Vocal CDAli Baba and the Forty Thieves - Backing MP3s
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Rehearsal CDMinny Pinny Makes a Difference - Vocal Demo CD 
The Panto of the Opera - Backing CDAladdin Rehearsal CD 
Recordings - CDs and MP3s (by Stuart Ardern (with Jonny Ardern))
Snow White and the Mini Miners Rehearsal CDSnow White and the Mini Miners Rehearsal MP3s 
Recordings - CDs and MP3s (by Michal Y Noah, songs by Stuart Ardern)
Stuart Ardern - hairy or smooth
Before and after a 2020 lockdown haircut.

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